Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize