I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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