If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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