I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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