Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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