is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
