yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
