So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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