u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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