i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
