Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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