I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize