The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
