I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I am one with the molecules
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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