can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
