You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
