haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Less talking, more tequila
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
