sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
