I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize