i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
