Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
