taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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