i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
