I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
