I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
