i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
