I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
