Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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