During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
What a dumb baby whore.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
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