Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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