I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
