My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
