I wanna bring you to show and tell
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
