Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
