I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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