I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
