dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize