I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
