Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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