Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Welp...herpes.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
