I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
