remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
