you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
