I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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