Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize