You really coming over, don't trick.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
