R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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