dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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