i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I need water and some morals
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
