Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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