dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
