currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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