We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
