Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
