so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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