Pappa wants mamma naked
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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