it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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