Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
