It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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