No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
