i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
