yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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